Sunday, May 30, 2010

Picture(s) of Me Before Surgery

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This was taken at work. I don’t remember was day but it was in February-March time frame. I was averaging at 217 lbs at this time.

I will put up some pictures of me in a couple of weeks to show the differences.

Week and a half Post Op

I am a week and a half post op now. I have lost almost 10 lbs. I have healed very well and that pleases me a lot. I have been doing the best that I can to stay on my liquid diet. Not easy, it is my mind that I am going to have to fight the most. At certain times of the day, say 12 pm, to me that is lunch time, so my mind is saying feed me even though my stomach is remaining quiet. There are times that my stomach does "say" that I need food, however I am not going to make that a final on that. I have been doing better about drinking water. To me it has no taste so I tend not to drink it. I am allowed to drink V8 now and protein drinks. The IsoPure is nasty and I can not drink it. So that one is out. I have instant carnation drink (sugar free of course) so I am going to try that tomorrow. Protein is the next big thing I will have to tackle. I don't get enough right now. I have had the issue of my hair falling out before due to a medication and now the lack of protein. But I know what is causing it and how to fix it. I have also started using my Calorie King software again so that I can track my foods and exercise. I have had a couple of emotional breaks this past week. Realizing that so much has changed is not always easy. Thankfully Joe is here for me. The kids are also part of everything that is going on and with this move coming up. Joe is used to working and he is having cabin fever and is being a butt to most everyone, including me sometimes. But I know why and I do understand. Okay this is driving me nuts. I have to restart my computer and see if I can fix whatever it is/was that Bacardi has done to my laptop keyboard.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Who and Why

I was raised in rural Arkansas. I enjoyed life as a child I guess. I lived on a farm with my Great Aunt up until I was 12 years old. I had brief times during these years that I lived with my mother, however I lived with my Great Aunt ninety nine percent of the time. I was an active kid I guess. I was always outside doing something. With only 3 channels to watch, yeah I would rather be climbing a tree or swinging on a rope in the hayloft. 

 

I was never a favorite of the guys that I went to school with in the way of girlfriend material. Now playing football or other sports that was a different story. Once I moved, that kind of changed. While I didn’t have a boyfriend for a while. I was still “little sis” to a lot of the guys. Okay so 5 foot tall and a large chest can go a long way sometimes. My best friend Tawnya and I were always doing something. Whether it being hanging out with the rest of our friends or playing sports. Volleyball was our favorite. You didn’t put us on opposite teams. We would try to kill each other, it was easier to put us on the same team and no one else got hurt. I sometimes miss those days. I was active every day then, even during the summer. I had a nice tan, toned body, and honey blonde hair. Okay so swimming was my favorite thing to do during the summer.

I got pregnant with my daughter at 17. I had been 135 lbs for years. While I didn’t gain a large large amount of weight, she was 9 lbs 4 oz, I still had a bit of trouble getting the weight off. I was working and eventually got back to around 145. After having the boys in my early 20’s getting the weight off was harder. John was 7 lbs 15 oz and Devin was 9 lbs 10 oz. Yes I had 2 large babies. LOL

I managed to get down to 168 when I got a nice knock back. A cheating husband can really do a number on a person. My weight went up and down during this time. I was diagnosed with manic depression then I went untreated for years.

When Joe and I got married my weight went up. My grandmother became ill, suffered a series of strokes and died. Also during the beginning of my grandmothers illness, my mother became ill and we almost lost her.  I started being treated for the depression and then was diagnosed as Bi-Polar II. Some of the medications, yeah I won’t be taking them again that is for sure. I ran a gambit of various “cocktails”. Thankfully I have a good combination now that seems to work for me.

Now I am being a new journey. Before my surgery I weighted anywhere from 203 to 220. My weight would fluctuate but I could never keep it off no matter what. I finally made the decision and here I am. Joe didn’t realize just how drastic my surgery was until I should him a picture of what they were going to do. He became more supportive of what I was doing and still supports me. When I break down and cry or when I want so much to eat a big juicy steak. I am lucky to have him.